:: wildbody Summer News ::
What's inside: Welcome to my Substack, on belonging, vulnerability & shame in white caucus spaces, & some programming announcements.
Hi there,
I hope you're feeling connected and purposeful in these impossible times. I have had a draft of this newsletter in the works for you all for weeks, and the truth is that other things kept coming up that felt more pressing, more time sensitive. I imagine this kind of triaging is familiar to many of us as we braid our days together within the context of multiple crises. I am wishing you all sturdy circles of connection and action in these impossible times.
On belonging, vulnerability, and shame in white caucus spaces
We are nearly at the end of this years' cohort of Foundations in Embodied Ancestral Inquiry (EAI). There is a mixture of celebration and grief as we come to the end (and some excitement as we embark on the launch of a level two next fall, yay!).
It feels as though this methodology has taken on a life of its own, and I am struck by becoming a student of my own curriculum. So many seeds of ideas and hunches have blossomed into beautiful moments of recognition and repair, and continue to spread and grow through each member of this community.
One of the learnings that has deepened for me this round has been about the relationship between vulnerability, belonging, and shame.
We explore two types of shame in EAI; toxic shame and pro-social shame. From an evolutionary perspective, shame is an important adaptation that our ancestors developed to keep them connected to each other for survival. Belonging to a group meant it was easier to find food and shelter and to ward off predators. Shame developed as such a strong physiological response in order to keep us from doing things that would threaten our survival — including our belonging to the collective. The inhibitory response of shame needed to be strong enough to disrupt even our own self-interest, which is why it can feel like such an overwhelming state in our bodies.
From this understanding, the rupture of shame is meant to bring our actions back into alignment with the wellbeing of the collective, and then to have our belonging securely restored.
Toxic shame happens when shame is deployed in response to healthy or innate behaviours with little to no opportunity to restore secure belonging and relational safety. This is why exclusion is such a damaging form of punishment, it cuts to the very core of our wiring as social beings. Toxic shame leads to inhibiting our life affirming and healthy expressions of self (needs, boundaries, ways we diverge from a "norm"), and turning shame inwards on ourselves or outwardly onto those who do not comply. Shame happens in relationship, so it can only be repaired in relationship, without that opportunity our lives, and cultures, become shaped by shame and its impacts.
I became so fascinated by this understanding of shame because it so accurately describes the relational aspects of whiteness and supremacy culture. It also describes what has become the cultural complex or archetypal aspect of whiteness; an invisible kind of dis-ease that is far bigger than an one person or lifetime, but which touches us all as white people (more on this in a future post).
To heal toxic shame relationally, we need to have containers of deep belonging and safety within community. This is why we teach EAI over so many months, and take so much care with the container we are holding.
Caucus spaces for white folks offer us a mirror where we are faced with the ways we have learned to internalize toxic shame towards ourselves and each other, and the deep wounding of whiteness is able to reveal itself. Sometimes these spaces allow it can be transmuted and dissolved, and sometimes more time and support is needed. In many instances where there isn’t enough support in the container, shame, exceptionalism, and conditional belonging are reinforced, replicating the very dynamics we are trying to change.
Without taking the time to build the relational ties that support us to truly feel our vulnerability safely, white caucus spaces don’t get to the root of supremacy culture which is all about disconnection. This isn’t about creating feel-good spaces that enable bypassing; we must hold each other to a standard of care and respect that reflects the kind of relational conditions we are lacking. Mistakes and harm are acknowledged, and opportunities for repair and reconnection are abundant.
The extent to which we have disowned our deepest wounds and messy imperfect selves is a direct reflection of how dangerous it was allow those parts of ourselves to be seen, and the risk they were to our sense of belonging.
Domination and fragility are adaptations to these conditions through either renouncing any need for dependency on others at all, or to adopting powerlessness and renouncing our agency in an attempt to stave off feelings we don't believe we can bare.
Whiteness protects us from ever having to expose these places within us, which is a kind of paradox isn't? We project ourselves everywhere in a grandiose attempt to prevent our wounds from being felt or known.
I have come to a deeper understanding through this work of how harm is transformed between white people. We must learn to love each other and face our wounds together. No one is exceptional, superior, or innocent, and we all get to belong to each other, not in spite of that — but because of it.
We are drawing the poison out, and calling each other back so the toxicity of whiteness that we have inherited can be metabolized and dissolved, and kept from causing further harm.
We'll be sharing more examples of the ripples of this framework and our learnings inside of it in the coming months, I hope you'll continue to follow along.
I’ve moved my newsletter to Substack!
As part of a commitment to doing more writing this year, I’ve decided to combine my newsletter and longer form essays in one place. This won’t make any difference to you for the most part, but I will be adding an audio version of some of my longer writing that will be available to paid subscribers alongside the (always free) written versions. And of course you can always unsubscribe at the bottom of these emails if you want to stop receiving them.
Updates + Announcements
SAVE THE DATE:
Beyond Boxes: Working with the Wisdom of Hybrid Nervous System States A three part workshop series with special guests Raina LaGrand, Jan Winhall and Nazbah Tom
July 19th, 26th + August 1st
1-3pm EST
More Details Coming Soon
CANCELLED Held: The Somatics of Belonging
After some careful reflection, we have decided to cancel our in-person retreat in LA. Something felt misaligned about putting so much time and money into a city neither of us live in to “retreat” right now. We’d rather encourage folks to put their time and resources into supporting Palestinian resistance, as we do the same. Stay tuned for more in-person gatherings in 2025.
Other Announcements:
Foundations in Embodied Ancestral Inquiry 2025 The course dates have been announced for the next cohort and applications will open September 9th, 2024.
ReSound: Acoustic Healing through the Safe + Sound Protocol and Relational Somatics Waitlist for fall cohorts is now open Next session begins September 17th, see website for details.
Embodied Ancestral Inquiry Level 2: Applications
We’re thrilled to share that this community is growing and we’re starting a level 2 training this November for those who want to deepen their learning and develop competencies in becoming an EAI practitioner. More info coming soon.
Community Offerings:
STUDY + ACTION FOR PALESTINE: Begins June 17th with White Awake
HONORING IMPERMANENCE & RENEWING OUR ROLES FOR COLLECTIVE ACTION: Virtual Solstice Celebration & Fundraiser: June 20th with IDHA
WHY FEEL? Honouring our Lineages and Transforming our Communities:
July 24th + 25th with The Embodiment Institute
RETURN: Foundational Somatic Wisdom for Coming Back to the Self: Begins July 12th with Weaver & Rose Somatics
Trauma-Informed Grief Support: A Professional Development Workshop: June 27th & 28th with Shauna Janz